Obscenity in October

Clearing the Courts

I know it's not like me to use obscenities in my blog, so even the word - obscenity - seems kind of out of place.  And that's the whole point.  Out of place.

Today, October 24, I was in Penneys looking for the escalator when I encountered  tables upon tables and racks upon racks of Nutcrackers, Christmas ornaments, snow globes, reindeer, and other similar trappings just across the aisle from Halloween costumes.  I stopped short, balled my hands into fists, counted to 10 and moved on.  On the inside, however, I was envisioning myself swiping my arms across whole display tables and sending the offending items flying with a throaty growl, upending racks of ornaments and watching them shatter into tiny red, green and gold shards with a self-righteous roar.  "Just like Jesus turning over the money changers' tables in the temple courts," I thought.  Hm, let's compare stories.

When it was almost time for the Jewish Passover, Jesus went up to Jerusalem.  In the temple courts he found men selling cattle, sheep and doves, and others sitting at tables exchanging money.  So he made a whip out of cords, and drove all from the temple area, both sheep and cattle; he scattered the coins of the money changers and overturned their tables.  To those who sold doves he said, "Get these out of here!  How dare you turn my Father's house into a market!"  John 2:13-16.

Okay, so other than the fact that they both had to do with holy days (holidays) and overturning tables, not really a good comparison.  But the daydream was satisfying nevertheless.  Not as much as actually carrying it out, of course, but then I would have been tased and arrested by Mall Cop, shoppers would be filming me and posting on social media, it would go viral, and my children's lives would be ruined.  Still...what fun it would be.

Really, even more ridiculous than this was seeing fully lit up, 8' Christmas trees in Costco in August.  I actually filled out complaint forms.  Twice.  But only because the checkers told me to. 

I've had a rule in my house since the kids were old enough to ask that Christmas music or movies may NOT be played until after Thanksgiving dinner is done and dishes are washed.  Violators will be subject to a time out room with Jingle Bells sung by Elmo playing on a loop.  Of course no one dared violate it. 

So even though I see red (no pun intended) when commercial Christmas is prematurely sprung in the stores, I will admit that I purchase gifts all year.  I do have two absolutely solid excuses that save me from hypocrite-dom. 

1.  From November 24 to January 14 there are also 6 birthdays between our kids and spouse.  If I didn't pace myself we would go broke.

2.  When I see a bargain I have to buy it then and there.  It's culturally required.  Alright, now we're getting into tricky territory here, explaining why the Jewish girl is finding bargains on Christmas gifts.  That's a story for another day.  Maybe when I start seeing dreidels in the stores.