Peace Like A River

One of my dear friends has asked me to post more blogs, but honestly I have had nothing of import to say.  Sadly, I think that means that I haven't been close enough to God lately to hear him whispering in my ear.  Actually he was shouting at me this summer to resign my position on the Women's Ministry Team, but I in my great wisdom thought He must have been mistaken and dragged it out for a few more months before finally doing so.  Of course it was the right decision and added to my being stripped down (see previous posts). 

 

What has prompted this post is another bout of fasting, which in the Biblical mandate is meant to draw you closer to God, seek wisdom and answer to prayer, and understand His plan for you.  I set aside 3 days of fasting and praying because I needed peace about a decision Bill and I had already made about traveling for two months this spring.  Backwards, I know.  I'm supposed to pray and fast BEFORE I make the decision, but alas that is not how it played out, and as a consequence, I was having an attitude and fear problem.  As I sit here on day 3 with my stomach rumbling in the background and my mind a little foggy and addled, I have heard from my faithful God.

 

I specifically asked God to work on my selfishness, greed, independent spirit and fear. 

 

1.  How to combat selfishness.  This is Paul speaking:

 

          If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose.   Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.  Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.  Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:  Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in  human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and  became obedient to death - even death on a cross.  Philippians 2:1-8

How can I complain about some inconvenience or discomforts when my Lord was willing to be obedient to death?

 2.  Opposite of greed - generosity:  To me generosity is both submitting yourself to God's will and trusting God to provide so you don't feel the need to hang onto things.  God brought me to these verses:

 

          So do not worry saying, "What shall we eat?" or "What shall we drink?" or "What shall we wear?"  But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.  Matthew 6: 31, 33

Interestingly, God also gave me Matthew 6:33 when I was panicking about moving to California suddenly for 5 months last year.  My mind is not a steel trap but a sieve.  We have a saying at our house: The mind is a terrible thang.  And a common retort to "I was thinking..." is "Does it hurt?"

Anyway, when I lie awake at night "hyperplanning" as I call it, I am not seeking God's kingdom first, but my own.  Not God's righteousness, but my own.  Isaiah so graphically told us that "all our righteous acts are like filthy rags."  Hold onto your delicate ears, but he's talking about used Tampax.  Ick.  Seek Him first and await His provision, which has never disappointed, and not grab what I can for myself. 

 

3.  How to combat my independent spirit - dependence on God.  I came across these verses:

 

          If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt.  James 1:5-6a

 

          I will trust and not be afraid.  The Lord, the Lord is my strength and my song. Isaiah 12:2b

 

          But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in  weakness." 2 Cor 12:9

 

4:  Opposite of fear - trust and peace.  I came across these verses:

 

          This is what the Lord says...Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.  Isaiah 43:1

 

          The Lord gives strength to His people, the Lord blesses His people with peace. Psalm 29:11

 

          Do not be afraid, for I am with you; I will bring your children from the east and gather you from the west.  Isaiah 43:5

This last verse is significant to me because we are traveling from west to east to visit children and back again.

 

And my personal favorite, which a friend just posted on FB yesterday:

 

          May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.  Romans 15:13

 

I was reading Psalm 29 from my Moravian text daily reading.  It focuses on praising and worshipping God. So I got out an old hymnal and just opened it up randomly, looking for a song I recognized (I was not raised in the church so don't know that many hymns).  I opened to the section labeled "Assurance and Trust."  Perfect, I thought, but I don't know any of these songs.  I flipped forward a few pages - nope.  I flipped back 2 pages and landed on my very favorite hymn of all time: It Is Well With My Soul.  I can rarely sing this hymn without crying because God brought it to mind when my father died and it is very meaningful to me.  The first verse:

 

When peace like a river attendeth my way, when sorrows like sea billows roll. Whatever my lot Thou hast taught me to say, It is well, it is well with my soul. 

 

Couldn't have said it better. 

Coda: I woke up on the 4th day feeling like Scrooge on Christmas morning.  I actually woke up with a smile, despite not having slept well the last 3 nights (I understand now when people say they were so hungry they couldn't sleep).  I was ready and raring to go.  Eager to buy a goose for the Cratchits and a new crutch for Tiny Tim.  As I emptied my stomach and my soul, the God of hope had filled with me with all joy and peace so that I was and am overflowing with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.