But oh, the Olympics. I am fascinated by these people who are so dedicated to their sport and training, and love to see the product of that determination. Of course, I'm not really impressed with all of them. You know what I'm talking about. As Jimmy Fallon gave the real descriptions of Olympic sports, curling is really just aggressive janitoring. I don't deny it takes skill, but if it takes athleticism, I'm an athletic mopper.
Most nights I make Bill tired just by watching my constant activity, but here I am, hour after hour, night after night, sitting on the couch watching TV. I have always been a stickler for eating dinner at the dining room table, but because many of the events happen during dinner time we have set up TV trays -- TV trays!!! -- in front of our little dual recliner love seat. I guess we are officially old fuddy duddies. Next thing you know we'll be ordering denture cream and adult diapers from Walmart by the caseload (nothing wrong with that, I just want to keep pretending I'm younger than I am).
Now because I'm not used to sitting for hours on end, I keep looking for reasons to get up and move, or something to do besides just sit here and use my eyeballs. I need to move more body parts than that. You'd think that calisthenics or something healthy would occur to me. Not so. Instead, my new Olympic sport is snacking! That uses my mouth, my hands, and my stomach, and takes good hand-eye coordination. I have to be VERY careful not to drop any crumbs on my new couch while keeping my eyes firmly set on the TV. That would be a penalty and I'd be sent to the penalty box (uncomfortable chair).
How many different snacks can I find and consume in 5 hours of spectating? Let me tell you, I've become a professional at Combine. I can power through newly discovered but forgotten Christmas peanut butter balls from the freezer and THEN slalom my way through Boom Chicka Pop kettle corn, knocking all those stray kernels off the couch. What about Ice Cream Cross? Don't cross me, buddy, or I'll send your scoop flying off the mountain, uh, bowl. Figure skating? My figure is fast becoming a Sally-cow with a family-sized bag of puffy Cheetos. I can get my HEART rate up by snarfing leftover Valentine chocolate while going for the Gold -- covered chocolate coins, that is. I wonder if other Olympians suffer from couch sores? I guess it's just all part of the training, and thankfully I have my trusty trainer sitting next to me.
Adding to all this Olympic-sized indulgence is the snow fall and chilly weather we have had all week. The roaring fire and cozy sweats have encouraged my sloth and scarf attitude. No figure-fitting spanx for me. Loose sweats and slippers are my uni and I wear it proud. Go USA!
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| Olympic snacking in action |
